The 5 Simple Steps To Creating An Effortless Lifestyle That Gets Results

Are you listening? And why should you?

Listening is one of the most powerful resources that we have at our disposal. It can clear up misunderstandings, enhance communication and intimacy. Its also invaluable if you want to get clarity on something yourself and can stop us from getting stuck too.

But for the purpose of this blog, I want to focus on something that is really close to my heart, which is listening to another. I don’t know about you – but I have found that we all have stories and i have found that sometimes our stories stop us from truly listening and hearing what the other person is saying, which can be hugely detrimental to your relationship and possibly your business.

I have found I interpret what they are saying through the filter of my own story and they can do the same. Suddenly two people speaking to each other without the ability of truly listening to the other as the stories get in the way.

I have so many examples that the stories that my husband and I have get in the way of us really listening to each other, which can cause massive arguments. Each fighting our corner to defend our story versus hearing what the other person is really saying, which has got nothing to to with our story.

So let me give you an example of what I am talking about – we were planning a blessingway – a gathering – to celebrate the imminent arrival of our son. My husband had said that he wanted to participate in the organisation. I also know how much work he had on this plate and decided to create the event to even out his stress – so he didn’t have to worry about it!

However, he was rather upset – which I understood – but even though I kept hearing his story of being left out – my story of “I cannot get anything right” kept drowning out what he was saying. The same was true for him. His story was drowning out the words I was saying. And the discussion ended up in an argument.

Nevertheless, what I have come to see is that its not personal. 2 stories bumping up against each other – each getting in the way of two people who love each other.

I have also seen this scenario play out in other instances….with clients for example – where I have been the observer. A time when a couple of women turned up to a yoga class unprepared. The yoga teacher could see that they were not prepared. And instead of taking this on board – one of the women’s stories got in the way – she kept hearing – “you are not welcome here” and was getting more and more upset – however I could see that this is not what the yoga teacher was saying – she was just expressing concern for them. However, the lady’s story of “I don’t feel welcome” kept drowning out the yoga teacher’s voice and so upset ensued and frustration built up.

When we can truly listen to the other person without much on our mind, putting our story aside – we can truly hear what they are saying….

So if you have an angry client or family member who is frustrated – the best medicine? Is to just listen :)


Pin on PinterestShare on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on StumbleUponShare on LinkedIn