Is it normal for relationships to get boring over time?
With the run up to my yearly relationship event Your Pathway to Love, I thought I would share my take on professional and intimate relationship topics that my clients have asked me about, in the hope that these blogs will help you with yours.
One of the biggest areas of stress for most people is the area of relationships, whether professional or personal. Part of having an effortless lifestyle is to have relationships that don’t stress you out, so my intention over the coming months is to share my take on this topic both in the professional part of your life as well as the intimate.
So to kick us off I thought I would start with the first question that one my clients asked me which was
“Is it normal for relationships to get boring over time?”
According to the Daily Mail 6 out of 10 couples are unhappy in their relationships – the main gripe being the lack of spontaneity, which has led to boredom. So it would look that way. And it would seem that it would make sense.
Over time you get to know that person inside out and being with them can turn into a routine. Most would agree that this is just how it is and that over time it becomes boring. The honeymoon period is long gone and so are the dreams of it ever returning.
However, what if it didn’t have to be the norm? What if you could keep falling in love with the person you are with again and again and again?
If you are reading this and thinking it’s not possible, then you are not alone. Nevertheless it is.
What if you were to see that boredom doesn’t come from the amount of time you have been in the relationship?
What if boredom was another way of showing you that you are in a bored mood? The very nature of moods are that they come and go – just like the weather.
So why it that it looks like your relationship is boring? Well, because you think so and because you see the relationship as giving you a feeling, when it cannot.
We see the other person through our filters. What if our filters could be diluted through presence and connection to experience the relationship completely differently, to the way you may have been experiencing it previously?
I had an experience with my husband not long ago that really got me to see how powerful presence and connection actually is. I came to the meeting with a sense of – I know him and he knows me…the relationship felt stale and looked like it really had no room for any more growth.
However, over the 2 days of our workshop, I was nicely surprised and experienced my husband with a whole new appreciation. I felt like I had met him for the first time.
There were stories that he shared that he had never shared before and there were stories that I had heard over and over, and yet when I listened to him in that moment with that presence, it seemed that I hadn’t heard them before.
What I really got to see is that it’s not what we share, but how connected we are when we are sharing what we share. When you are being fully present to someone there is no room for boredom as your mind cannot be busy.
There is only your attention on them.
What if instead a bored state of mind is actually asking you to become more present and connected to yourself first and then to your partner?
You see, it all starts with you.
So in short, long term relationships don’t get more boring over time, our state of mind will determine whether we spend more time in a feeling of boredom or not.
By starting with the source of your boredom you can change your experience so there is no room for that feeling.
If you want to radically change your experience with your partner then why not click below to find out more about: