Why Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work

¨Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there He wasn’t there again today I wish, I wish he’d go away… When I came home last night at three The man was waiting there for me But when I looked around the hall I couldn’t see him there at all! Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!¨
Hugh Mearnes

I am going to go out on a limb here and share something that has been on mind for a bit but that was bought to the foreground of my mind a few days ago with an amazing colleague of mine Dave Kibby who graciously came online to talk to my effortless business group about his take on authentic leadership. Little did I know that the conversation was going to lead to something that been bothering me for while, which was this..

How can we work on ourselves when the self that we have created in our heads doesn’t actually exist?

Now this sort of question back in the day where I would go from seminar to seminar to seminar to improve myself would have made no sense to me or I wouldn’t have even heard it. I had all my certificates up on the wall as a testimony of my improvement and progress.

And if you are asking yourself – ¨What do you mean I don’t exist? ¨ thats a perfectly normal thing to ask! I know I did when I finally started to see the inside out nature of life more deeply, which is at the heart of everything I do now.

But as Dave questioned and as I have pondered over for a while. How can we improve on a thought? Isn’t I or YOU just a thought/a concept of who we are? Is there even a self to develop or a person to improve? The very thought of who you think you are is intangible, its thought. Is there even a you that is getting better or improving? Or is that just a thought? The very notion of better or worse is a matter of perception, which once again is created by thought.

And the very last question that Dave asked was ¨¨If you were to see that there is no You to improve on how would that help?¨¨and my wonderful client Debbie said ¨Ï wouldn’t have to think about it so much!¨ The crazy bit is that we (innocently) are attempting to improve that which is already perfect!

If you are reading this and thinking ¨But I am not perfect.¨ Isn’t that just a thought? Just because you think it doesn’t mean its true.  Our challenge isn’t to get rid of our issues and work on our issues our challenge is to see through the illusion that there is even anyone there that has issues.

SO how can we work on ourselves when there is no-one there to work on?!


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