Boundaries? What boundaries? I don’t know about you but this is an area that hasn’t come easily for me. However this is an area that most of the mums in business I work with struggle with too.
Last week I spoke of why saying no can be really empowering for the person saying it and actually for the person on the receiving end!
In this week’s WOW Moment I want to share the process I went through to put introduce boundaries into my life!
As a mum and woman in business I know the importance of having these in place. You see when you are making decisions from a place of clarity on what works for you, then you will save a lot of time, energy and become far more focused which all have a massive impact on your results!
So I thought it would be useful to share the process I went through to put boundaries in place that have helped me enormously in making decisions, saying no and freeing up my time to say yes to things and people that really juice me up.
So how did it all start? With a process around non-negotiables!
1. I had an insight about non-negotiables
About 2 years ago I was at a retreat In Lanzarote and the question that popped into my head was:
“What would your business and life looked like if you were living it without compromise?”
Of course my head went
“But you cannot live a life of no compromise, you have a husband and a child!”
However I decided to ignore that voice and play the game. I realised that if I were to come from a place of power not worrying about what others thought of me that I would be running my business and living my life in a very different way to the way I was running it back then.
So I decided to experiment and not listen to what if it doesn’t work? Just like my son who experiments and isn’t worried about the outcome but more uses his moments of explorations as that, I decided to do the same.
What if you could experiment with your non-negotiables? And get clear on them so you can have a life of no compromise?
2. I got clear on what my non-negotiables are
Leading on from the next point I got really clear on what my non-negotiables were and are. So for me to get clear on my non-negotiables the question that surfaced was ”If I could have it any way I wanted it, what would I do differently?” Over time my list has changed and will keep on changing as I keep realizing what works and what doesn’t! Here are some examples!
I wont take calls in the evening.
I don’t do refunds.
I will only work with women who inspire me and apply to work with me.
I will only travel internationally to do speaking gigs if paid.
I will take great care of my team and the people I care about.
I will keep business and personal separate.
I won’t include international workshops in my business model anymore as I want more time with my son.
I want to have 2 weekends every month that are free for me.
3. Stick to them if that’s what makes sense
Of course there is the whole subject matter, of how do you stick to the non-negotiables so that you don’t have leaky boundaries?
There is no guarantee that you won’t, and if you trip up then the trick is to be kind to yourself!
It’s taken me a while to really commit and stick to some of these but I kept learning valuable lessons when I didn’t!
And yet the insight I had that has made a really big difference for me that has helped me stick to them has been that
“Whatever works for me, works for everyone else!”
When you are running the show and are making decisions about your life and doing things that work for you, resentment takes a back seat and you will experience huge freedom! And there you have it.
ECS – Experiment, Clarity, Stick!
I invite you to write down your list and stick to it! If you do, you will see huge benefits not only for yourself but also for those around you.
As you take ownership of what is right for you, you give everyone else around you permission to do the same!
Remember – a happy you = happy life!
To your increasing effortlessness and freedom