Switching off?! What is that? I don’t know about you, but it seems that the biggest challenge that mums in business have these days is to actually be able to switch off! So what do I mean by switching off? In this case I mean, switch off the phone and be focussed on the time off and really enjoy it.
Do you check your emails or get a call from work that you have to take, which takes you away from your time with your family? If so, you are not alone, this is a habit that most of us have fallen into. Obviously there are degrees of switch off, but if you see that not doing so is stopping you from sleeping properly or getting disapproving looks from others then maybe this is a time to get down and dirty with the subject!
Here are 3 insights I have had about not being able to switch off that have really helped me to be present to my son when he gets home.
INSIGHT 1: Just because I think it doesn’t mean I have to do it!
How often does your phone buzz and you immediately pick it up to check it? Or an email comes in and you feel you have to answer it? If so, has it ever occurred to you that you don’t need to?
Maybe it has or maybe it hasn’t, either way you don’t need to do what your thinking tells you to do! My client Ella had this happen to her. She would spend her days in knee jerk reaction mode and immediately answer all her emails because she was scared that if she didn’t she would lose clients, this meant that she was answering emails almost constantly even in her down time with her daughter.
However, when I shared with her that she could put an auto-responder on saying that she would get back to her clients in 24 hours she looked at me as if I was mad reiterating her fear of losing potential clients. But I encouraged her to give it a go anyway. And so she did. To her delight, making her potential clients wait worked really well for her. It made her look really in demand (which she is) giving the impression that it was worth working with her (which it is.) By doing that she got the time off and was educating her potential clients how she likes to work – which isn’t a bad thing at all!
Now I am not saying to use this as a manipulative tactic, but ironically the less available you are, the more appealing you become!
INSIGHT 2: It’s not about the work, it’s about how busy my head is
Has it ever occurred to you that the reason you cannot switch off isn’t because of the work coming in but of how busy your mind is?
Presence is an inside job and has got nothing to do with the amount of work you have on your plate! I know it may look that way, but I promise you it isn’t. Over time I have got to see that as my head has got quieter that I am able to switch off the phone and be with my son when he gets home.
And if you are wondering “How do I get more quiet?” The answer for me has been to read books, listen to audios and hire a coach to support me in deepening my grounding and understanding of the inside out nature of life. (That every feeling that you have ever experienced has come from your thinking 100% of the time and not from your circumstances or anything else!)
The cool thing is that you are here now, deepening your understanding of how life works, and can keep doing so until the day you die!
INSIGHT 3: Permission to switch my phone off and forget about work!
It suddenly dawned on me one day that I could actually turn my phone off and focus on other things and people (like my son). You see when you focus on something else fully you really cannot also pay attention to the worry you have! So I gave myself permission to turn my phone off and BE with my son.
This has helped enormously as I am truly able to be with him in the moment. When you are in the moment in fact, you don’t need anything outside of you because in that moment you are already enough.
So you see, switching off is really about you getting more quiet and coming into the present moment.
I am sure you have been wondering “how do I spend more time in the present moment?” I invite you to download “Your Call To Effortless Living” audio here and listen to it as often as you can and I promise you the more you do, the more quiet you will become and the more you will be able to switch off!
To your increasing effortlessness and freedom