Exploring Relationship Patterns: How We Attract What We Don’t Want
I was speaking to a beautiful soul a couple of days ago about her past romantic relationships and how she kept on attracting the same type of man. When we explored what she really wants, there was a gap between what she has been living into over and over again and what she really desires.
She wants to be in a loving, supportive relationship where she is looked after, but instead, she keeps attracting and creating a dynamic where she has ended up looking after them. In short, she keeps on attracting and creating relationships that give her more of what she does not want.
I reflected on my journey too, and can totally relate. I used to say, "I want a man to look after me and support me." Instead, I kept on attracting men I would need to look after, ending up in mother/boy roles, which never worked out.
The Impact of Unhealthy Relationships on Our Well-being
So why the gap? What's going on when we say we deeply desire something and yet attract and create the opposite?
While exploring this domain with myself and my clients, I have discovered that if you want to create a romantic relationship where you have the support, commitment, and intimacy you desire, you will need to move beyond your fear of rejection and abandonment and step into your feminine vulnerability to relate authentically.
Overcoming Fear and Rejection in Romantic Partnerships
And for that, the three core elements that have to be in place are your Truth, Desire, and LOVE:
Truth: Discover, speak up, and honor how you feel and what your boundaries are.
Desire: Discover, speak up, and honor your needs and wants.
LOVE: Open yourself up to receiving and appreciating from and to another.
I have discovered that you have to have all three if you want to create the loving, soul-aligned relationship that is meant for you.
Identifying Your Relationship Patterns and Triggers
This applies whether you are single, dating, or in the throws of a new exclusive relationship (more about that in a post coming shortly). And of course, it's not as easy as 1-2-3.
The trick will always be to move beyond your inner child's wounding and desperate cry of “Please LOVE me” to your Unshackled Queen’s knowing that “I am the LOVE I seek.”
Common Signs of Unhealthy Relationships and How to Address Them
When you live into your relationship from I am the prize, who you attract and are attracted to will align itself more with what you want. But of course, there is a journey to take to get there.
If you have read this and see that you keep attracting, or are attracted to, men who don't commit, are emotionally unavailable, or you feel you need to support and you want the opposite, let's connect and explore how my Unshackled Heart 121 container can unshackle you to create what you do want.
The Role of Self-awareness in Changing Relationship Dynamics
Understanding your relationship patterns, identifying the triggers, and working towards self-awareness will help you recognize unhealthy relationships and shift your mindset to create the relationships you truly desire.
