The Antidote To Your People Pleasing
THE ANTIDOTE TO YOUR PEOPLE PLEASING
IS simply, LOVE ❤️
A few weeks back I was reading about how Manifestors tend to go into people pleasing ways of being if they are not supported in the right ways.
As i understand It, Manifestors dont like to be told what to do and are
🔥 the firestarters
🔥 the initiatiors
🔥the trailblazers
As children, if we are punished consistently and over time, for this part, we can easily turn to people pleasing, as we see that being any other way is WRONG...
And at the extreme we start to believe there is something wrong with us.
I know i went there and was probably there for a good part of my Life....
Believing there was something wrong with me was a day to day existance....
When i read this, it took me back to the headmasters room at boarding school where I spent many a time, being punished for my "bad behaviour."
Usually I was given a psalm to learn.🤦
Over time, that firestarter part of me started to hide in the shadows as It was too dangerous to have her come out.
Instead a new versión of me, started to spring to Life,
❤️She towed the líne
❤️She did as she was told
❤️She followed the rules
❤️She gagged herself to fit in
❤️She hid her emotions to not be too much
❤️She cried alone to not be bothersome
For a while it looked like being this way was worthwhile as I was making headway in…
😲The "being liked" camp
😁The "no longer the troublemaker" camp
At a huge cost to my mental wellbeing...
The shame I carried for being who i was back then was insumountable...
🔥The firestarter in me was feeling repressed and started to play havoc as she wanted to come out...
🌊While my people pleaser was playing gate keeper to keep the world safe from her.
The inner conflict i carried for many years consumed me so much that i would do all sorts of things to numb out.
When I discovered what was going on, I persecuted and shamed my gate keeper for all the times she had
😐Let me down
😐Cost me money
😐Involved me in relationships that were not right for me
😐Made decisions that cost me emotionally
But all this did was make me feel worse and perpetuated the shame of being me.
This journey has now had me see that all my gate keeper was wanting to do, was to keep me safe.
And there is real wisdom in that...
Thats not to say she has gone from my life, as she still travels with me, and yet i notice her and instead of persecuting her, I send her LOVE.
This of course feels really good in my body and I feel like I am tending to a small child in a nurturing and loving way.
(Which I am)
As I send LOVE to my gate keeper, she feels safe enough for my firestarter to come out, as she now can see that they can live in harmony.
And
As my firestarter IS now in a position to express she no longer feels she has to act out to get noticed.
This healthy unión has forged a new way of being for me, one that is mainly full of loving soveriegnty.
