People pleasing is a selfish act

PEOPLE PLEASING IS A SELFISH ACT

I used to think that pleasing was actually a selfless act.

And why wouldnt it be? After all, you are putting others needs first so they feel loved.

And yet, while this may look true, what i hadnt seen was how selfish ❤️people pleasing❤️ actually is.

Why?

Because when we focus on behaving in a certain way, to get something in return, its not a selfless act, its manipulation and exhausting.

We put others first and contort ourselves to be liked, to be loved, to be popular.

"If i act in this way, you will give me LOVE in return."

But when they dont act as we had expected, in the same way as we had hoped, we hold a grudge, we get reactive. We dont understand, that we cannot control others behaviours.

Of course all of this is inoccent, until we realize we are being conditioned by the reality we created to protect ourselves as children..

Until we realize that the feeling of safety and love that we are chasing for in others isnt "out there" in another person.

Its actually who we are.

Its inside.

At this point we stop chasing, we stop contorting ourselves because It makes no sense to do so.

After all, whats the point in chasing after something that we already have? That we already are?