Do You Suffer Relationship Anxiety? Understanding and Overcoming Relationship Anxiety
Introduction to Relationship Anxiety
Do you suffer from relationship anxiety? Has this or does this happen to you? You go out on a date, or you meet someone on your night out and have a few drinks, leading to a beautiful, intimate night together.
Understanding Relationship Anxiety
The night turns into morning, and you may decide to have breakfast, but you know that in a short while, you will go your separate ways. He takes your number and says, "It was the BEST night ever, and he wants to see you again." You get home on a real high, dreaming about all the plans you are going to make. And you think to yourself, this one will be different, this one IS the one. A few hours later, you look at your phone and nothing...
The Causes of Anxiety in Relationships
He hasn't texted or expressed anything to you. Your stomach is tied in knots, and you feel anxious, starting to think that there IS something wrong with you, that you are just not lovable enough. Your mind finds all the ways to keep this story alive. You decide to text him to see if he would like to go out again, then stare at your phone for hours, obsessing about why he hasn't GOT back to you, especially now as you see that he has read your message. You call over and over, just in case he hasn't seen your call, but SILENCE. Nothing.
Overcoming Relationship Anxiety
The penny drops; he isn't interested. You now beat yourself up and think you have done something wrong and cannot stand to think that he doesn't like you. Your little girl feels hurt and once again (innocently) she has outsourced her sense of worth to someone else. "Please LOVE me," she cries. "Don't leave me," she screams. "I will do anything for you to LOVE me," she sighs. She then believes, "I am not important," "I don't matter." And then soon enough, you can find yourself defending yourself and closing down that precious heart.
*What a bastard*
*He was an arsehole*
*All men…..*
Anxiety Triggers in Relationships
This isn't the only scenario where anxiety can hit, and your little girl looks "out there" to be loved. The freak-out and anxiety aren't subject to the first night; if not addressed, it will keep happening
Every time he doesn't get back to you
When he is in a good or upset
When he asks for space
When he needs some time to himself
When he cannot connect when you need him to.
Each one of these presses on the abandonment wound you carry that makes these experiences so deeply personal.
Breaking the Cycle of Relationship Anxiety
Inevitably, you grasp and find it difficult to give him what he wants because you need to know that
*That everything IS okay.*
*That you both are okay. *
*That you are okay.*
*That he is okay.”
You would do anything to make it all better again, for harmony to be re-established. And so you either keep calling him and ignore what he wants, which makes it all worse. Till one day he decides he cannot hack it anymore and calls it off. This now has you tailspin again into anxiety and bewilderment, and you believe that the solution IS either to throw yourself out there again to find yourself in the same cycle or you cut yourself off completely from the experience, believing that you are not meant for a long-term relationship.
Seeking Help for Relationship Anxiety
Or you give him what he wants, but you spend this time living into your (all-consuming) anxiety, obsessing about him. You attempt to numb yourself to the anxious feelings, thinking things like, "What is wrong with me? Why is it that at my age, I still feel like a hurt teenager? Should I not know better?" He doesn't call it off, but the cycle of anxiety continues, and you keep tolerating it because you cannot bear to think about being on your own.
Conclusion: The Path to Overcoming Relationship Anxiety
Or you finally decide that you are tired of feeling this way and need to do something about it. The last option is the only option that can support you to shift the anxiety, feel safe in your body, communicate your loving heart authentically, and create the loving harmonious relationship your heart yearns for.
I can help.
If you are ready to shift this pattern or you know of someone like this, I have 1 spot open for my 121 Unshackled Expression Container, where I support gifted creative women to move beyond the anxiety, feel safe in their bodies, express their heartfelt truth, and create the loving relationship their heart desires.
