Boundaries Create Intimacy: The Power of Setting Boundaries
Do you struggle with setting boundaries in your relationships, especially with those close to you, such as the masculine? I used to.
I used to believe that if I set personal boundaries, it would be seen as rude, that it would be taken badly, create conflict, or worse—I’d be abandoned or disliked.
The Importance of Setting Personal Boundaries
Over time, I’ve come to realize that setting boundaries is not only essential but a sovereign act of love for myself. Establishing these boundaries doesn’t push others away; instead, it creates a deeper understanding between two souls. After all, how is someone supposed to know what you’re not okay with if you don’t express it?
For those of us who are people pleasers, we often fall into the trap of thinking that everyone should be as thoughtful as we are. We expect them to read our minds, and when they don’t, it leads to frustration and disappointment. But as I’ve learned, each person operates in their own reality, and they always do what makes sense to them in the moment.
Why Relationship Boundaries Matter
When we don’t communicate our relationship boundaries, they won’t be respected. This lack of clarity creates the perfect environment for frustration and resentment—two emotions that repel intimacy and love. On the other hand, expressing what’s not okay for you can strengthen your connection and invite mutual respect. Boundaries respect the needs of both individuals and foster trust in any relationship.
How to Set Boundaries in a Loving Way
One thing I’ve found to work repeatedly (especially with the right person) is expressing your boundaries in a kind, playful, and loving way. This opens the door to a conversation about:
What’s not okay for you
Why it’s not okay for you
And a request for something else to be done instead
Doing this in a loving manner has a triple bonus: you get what you want, reduce resentment, and still have fun.
What Happens When Boundaries Aren’t Respected?
If you’ve already had a go at setting boundaries, but they’re still not being respected, it’s time to reflect and ask yourself, "What needs to change?"
Sometimes, the issue isn’t just about the boundary but about how consistently or clearly it’s communicated. If you continue to struggle with defining and expressing your personal boundaries, then you're in luck!
Get Help in Setting Boundaries
I have five spaces available for an UnShackled Truth Illumination Call. During this call, we’ll explore what’s truly been holding you back in this area and see if working one-on-one with me in The Unshackled Truth Container is the right step for you.
