Which Stage of the People-Pleasing Journey Are You On?

This morning, as I was in the kitchen, and felt the urge to illuminate the people-pleasing journey in stages. I had no idea what would emerge from this surge of inspiration, but this is what came through.

I would share - if you are on this people pleasing journey, I invite you to read and share at which stage you are at

Stage 1 - Shackled: Living in the Grip of People Pleasing

In this stage, your life is completely dominated by the people pleaser within you, while you remain blissfully unaware. You think this is simply who you are and continue living this way. The chains around your heart are so tight that feeling your own LOVE is almost impossible.  This is reflected in your behaviours with the masculine.

A) Chasing and Resentment

You might find yourself chasing, repressing your emotions, and struggling with setting emotional boundaries. Without knowing what you truly want, you don’t ask for it, leading to emotional outbursts in the name of vulnerability, rescue, control, numb, and resent. Your focus is on the other. This way of being repels emotionally mature men and attracts those who are similarly unhealed.

B) Avoidance of the Masculine

Alternatively, you live a life, where you don't want a relationship with the masculine and you may be playing the "I'm fine on my own" card, not admitting to yourself that you actually desire a loving, devoted relationship. Your fear of rejection and hurt, along with your unexamined beliefs about men, keep you disconnected from your own desires.

C) Dissatisfaction in Your Current Relationship

You are already in a relationship but you don't SEE your King. You focus on all the things he doesn't do and believe that this is your lot, which turns into nagging and resenting. You don't trust you can have what you desire and have moments where you think about the relationship ending because he is just not right for you anymore or you want something else.

Stage 2 - Shackled Awareness: Recognizing the People-Pleasing Pattern

In this stage, a shift happens. You begin to realize that the way you’ve been living isn’t working. You’re tired of the pattern and start to see that people-pleasing has been running your life. This is where the unshackled awareness begins.

A) Repeating Heartbreak

Perhaps you’ve been in multiple relationships, all of which ended in similar heartbreak. This repeated cycle has left emotional wreckage behind, but it’s finally starting to make sense.

B) Rejecting Intimacy

Or, you may have rejected intimate relationships altogether, unconsciously committing to never lose yourself again. The fear of being hurt has made you believe that avoiding intimacy is the safest path.

C) Emotional Repression in Current Relationships

Even if you're in a relationship, the chains of emotional repression remain. You recognize that you aren’t fully expressing yourself or creating the loving connection you desire with your partner. You now understand that the key to true relationship healing is to unshackle your heart and let love flow freely.

Stage 3 - The Unshackling: A Journey Toward Freedom

In this pivotal stage, you begin the sacred process of unshackling your heart. This journey requires honesty, commitment, and a willingness to dive deep into your self-discovery.

Step 1: Admission of Truth

Here, you admit that you no longer want to live bound by your people-pleasing chains.  Admitting your truth to you, that may have been hiding in the shadows of shame. This unshackled awareness is the first sacred step toward love and freedom.  You now understand that if you want to manifest the LOVE you CAME here for that it all starts and ends with YOU.

Step 2: Activation of Desire

Once the pain of living in fear is outweighed by your deep desire for transformation, a shift occurs. You are ready to express yourself fully and manifest the sovereign relationship you deserve, one filled with intimacy, passion, and love. You want to embrace the magic of the feminine role in relationships, recognizing the power you hold within.

Step 3: Action of Love

Although doubts and fears may linger, you decide to take action and fully commit to the journey of relationship healing. This step is critical, as it is in taking action that you will initiate the loving Queen within you and unlock your full potential in relationships.

Stage 4 - Unshackled: Embracing Your Sovereign Self

By this stage, you have journeyed a great deal and explored multiple paths toward healing. The unshackling process is reflected in your improved relationship with yourself, your self-care, and how you interact with others, especially the masculine.

You now attract a different caliber of man—one who honors and respects you. Your relationship dynamics have shifted into a more sovereign expression. No longer do you chase, control, or emotionally shut down. You feel safer expressing your feminine vulnerability, and your boundaries, desires, and appreciation fuel the masculine energy in your relationships, creating a space of love and mutual respect.

Stage 5 - Unshackled Embodied: Living in Love and Freedom

In the final stage, you embody the divine love that you always were. You trust yourself fully, express your emotions with ease, and move through life with grace. The masculine adores you and serves you deeply, while you provide the safe space he needs to thrive.

If you find yourself at Stage 3 or beyond, and you're struggling with expressing your boundaries, appreciation, or desires in your relationships, and you're done with repeating the same patterns, click the link below to book a call to learn more about how to move forward.