There is beauty in the abandon

These are the words I heard about 9 months ago.

I had no idea what they meant at the time.

So when i was thinking about what I wanted to share here today, these words CAME to me again....

As I sit to reflect on their meaning, there is a deep truth to them that brings me comfort.

On my journey to discover my medicine, I unearthed the unconscious reality that had been running my life for so long.

My deep fear of abandonment.

The sacred wound of abandonment.

The beauty of this wound, or any for that matter, is that while deeply painful, they are also the very wounds that will bring you back to wholeness, if you choose to embrace and LOVE the wound back to health.

In fact its this very wound that kept me surviving, Alive.

My teenage years were extremely difficult for me and I abandoned myself in all the ways.

But anorexia was my chosen blade of mutilation.

And yet...

I realized that my eating disorder kept me alive. As I focused on the lack of food, I wasnt focusing on leaving my body for good. Even the alcohol numbed the darkest of thoughts, which also kept me here.

While these self abandoning strategies were inoccently unhealthy, there was beauty in their intent.

There has also been much beauty in letting LOVE into the parts that did not feel loveable.

Where i shamed myself for not being pretty enough, smart enough, healthy enough, happy enough, though enough, loveable enough...not enough.

The being left and abandoned in relationship with the masculine has also been beautiful.

While at the time, excruxiatingly painful, it has been the very medicine that my people pleaser needed to heal my wound and the codependent behaviours that were symptomatic of it.

(LOVE addiction, anxious attachment, numbing, rescuing, losing myself - putting others needs first, contorting myself and saying yes when I meant no, repressing my expression.)

With each relationship breakdown, my heart was cracked open to let in the light, to reveal more of the beauty that already existed.

Abandoning my health and intimacy to my work addiction, while exhausting, has also been the beautiful wake up call I needed to stop, nurture myself and disentangle my identity from work these last 2.5 years.

While I kept re-creating abandon in my life both for myself and in relationship, these very recreations were the medicine needed for me to see that

🔥I could have my own back

🔥I could trust my own decisions and Life

🔥I can LOVE in ways that I never thought possible

🔥Abandon is medicinal

🔥LOVE IS its antidote

🔥I am here to unshackle women of this same wound

If you are tired of the anxiety, the contorting,the resentment, and repressing because you dont feel safe and keep attracting toxic immature relationships into your life, but want to manifest the LOVE you CAME here for

Click on the link BELOW to find out how ❤️🔥💃

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